It has been four days since I saw my baby sister.

I miss her so much. I hate that mom let them keep her for so long. She is still MY sister. I should at least get her for the night.

Life Update

Thamanna, my cousin and her sisters, lived with me in my house. They just bought the illest house and moved out. The house is quiet now. They took my baby sister with them. She refuses to come home. I don’t see her as is because of school - but now, I don’t even see her at night because she sleeps at their house.

We bought a new house. Haven’t moved in. Alhamdulilah it looks nice, needs fixing.

I hate long distance bull shit relationship shit shit shit. And don’t ever get engaged or married to someone in medical school. It’s hell. I hate it. I regret it completely. It was a big mistake. I knew I didn’t want a doctor. Why did this happen.Β 

I hate my Arabic professor with a passion. Everyone in the college knows this information by now.

I cry a lot. It’s effin pathetic.

And I have the grades to apply now to grad school. I just don’t find the time to sit down and do it. And a part of me is really scared of rejection.

And I feel like I’m so far away from Allah. I need to fix this.

So far in the classes with Professor Qidwai we have seen the most horrid movies. Do not click if you’re of the light-hearted people like me.

Every single student in that college classroom started crying, I myself shivered while crying profusely, unstoppably, and still can’t get the images out.

The Ghosts of Abu Ghraib

& then in the South Asian Women Lit class, for homework we had to watch:


Life Update!

School: AMAZING. I’m in love with all my classes again of course. Arabic 3 is pretty hard.. okay no it’s REALLY hard and having a different professor who talks so fast and with an accent I don’t understand is like ugh. But it’s going good Alhamdulilah. Muslim Diaspora & South Asian Women LiteratureΒ both taught by Professor Farrah Qidwai - I cannot even begin to explain how much perfection those classes are. One is about Muslims in the west and idea about race and ethnicity pre 9/11 and post 9/11 and Islamaphobia. YES I KNOW YOU WANT THIS CLASS. And the other is about India pre colonialism and it’s separation into the different countries of Pakistan and Bangladesh and all about different political and economical and gender related issues. And we watch like so many movies by Mira Nair. Okay, and then Creative Writing, the professor I’m not so fond of, but I can’t waittttt to do the assignments, poetry, creative non fiction, drama, and short story. It’s going to be superb! And Honors: Evolution & Social Networking is like supa supa hard and supa supa intimidating. It’s taught by two professors at the same time (yes that is not conventional at all, that’s just weird having two professors talk at the same time and pick on kids and grade our papers and they are from different fields - Biology and Psychology). But still - I love college. So much work. But worth it all.

Love: Ammar left to Florida for the MERP Program, and then he’s going to be back for a month and then leaving to the Caribbean’s inshaAllah. He sent a huge bouquet of flowers just cause he missed me. Momma said that was cute. Missing him tons, cause I’m soooo used to having someone to go to school with and come home with and study with. But I’m doing fine because I got so so preoccupied.

Family: The craze that is the usual. Everyone is buying their own houses alhamdulilah. And I might move a few blocks down to the new house if it ever closes inshaAllah. Then I get a bigger room and a balcony - I know, I AM BLESSEDDD, and that is SICKK.Β 

GRE: I finished, thanks for all the duas, Allah helped me so much. The test was beyond hard, and Allah really did help every second and I am so grateful Alhamdulilah!

Personal Stuff: I am SOO fat now. Like I’m happy, cause I’m eating, but I do need to work out soon. Waiting for the bigger room so I can put in my bike machine thing and work out while watching tv. HEHEHE.

Hows you guys hmms?

"The World Wars weren’t actually world wars. They were European countries throwing around water balloons. And everyone got wet."

Second day of class, English and Asian Literature professor. (She later mentions America etc but still) never fails to capture me every minute of class. She articulates every sentence in the most profound ways. Teaches Muslim Diaspora, and South Asian Women Literature. This woman has a BA, MA, MFA, and an MBA all from UC Berkley. She is like my inspiration now! I’m in loveeeee with her every word.