I went to Ammars house today. Chilled with the kids and the Bahbhis while he acted like a nervous wreck pacing around his house waiting for me to leave. His mom was so sweet. The highlight of my day was the two hours at their place. Taking jabs at him and also omg juniors cheesecake. Lol

But I came home and talked to dad about our huge annoying ahole filled family and how we have been celebrating Eid always at our house but they are so disrespectful and unappreciative and they just leave with cars and come back at midnight and never take me and my bros. Like they don’t even tell us where they are going. Like I’ll be in the bathroom and then come out and the house of 36 cousins just emptied out. Like bro wth did I waste my time for. I could be spending the day with friends or shit. Damn.

Family sucks. You know, five years ago, they didn’t even have new outfits for Eid and they didn’t know technology or anything, their village had one tv that all of them shared. Their lives were completely different. And then through my daddy and me and our efforts and all the work we put in, they come here. And here they buy outfits that cost like $200$300 and I’m sitting here with my $30 sari alhamdulilah. And of course apple products galore and decent cars and everything they need and ever wanted. And yet when it comes to at least inviting me to go to the Restuarant with them, they can’t.

Like the only time they call or ask for me is when they need me to do paperwork or to fix their computer.

Dad said he understands but I just need to excel in myself and leave them be. And my whole point is that with friends and with other people, they can hurt you and you can leave and grow up and mature. With family you’re tied by blood. They should at least invite me and my brother places. Like it’s really not that hard if 50 of them are driving out somewhere. We aren’t desperate for food or anything. We just want acknowledgement that we are family. And whenever I bring up this stuff their argument is always “you’re so busy we didn’t think you could come” or “remember we invited you that one time when we all went to bear back mountain”.

My whole family is messed up on my dad’s side. And dad knows it and acknowledges it. I’m so glad he does. Because he didn’t before. And now he sees what scums they are for their behavior. And yeah. They call me fat. Which would be fine if I was skinny or amongst the smaller ones. But I’m the fattest girl in my family. Fatter than the married ones who have kids. So yeah. I take their joke to heart. fatness is only a joke if you’re skinny.

Can’t wait to get out of this place though. This neighborhood with all this family. I love my immediate family so I will definitely miss them if I were to move. But no one else.

InshaAllah I get into an IVY League for Grad. I need to escape Allah. And with Ammar leaving in 7days in getting closer and closer to being so sad. And my GRE exam is in four weeks. I don’t now what to do.

Ramada left. I wish it hadn’t. I wish it was Ramadan all year long. Except for the fact that my sleep cycle is messedddd up like crazy.

Thanks for reading my rant. I feel like I love going back through tags and seeing how I felt at a certain time.

Does anyone else feel upset on Eid? Like they realize the extent of their loneliness that day.

lamelohan:

whats the point of having a crush if you never have a chance???

So you can sing David Archuleta’s song.

(via lets-bring-out-those-smiles)

celeritious:

you all deserve someone who isn’t embarrassed to love you and tells all their friends about you and saves your selfies, whether they’re good or bad to look at when they miss you and loses sleep to talk to you and tells you how much they love you all the time and i really hope all of you find that one day because you all deserved to be loved

Damnnn. I have that. That’s so weird. Ammar

(via iamsahar)

I freaking LOVEEEEE singing. I like sing my heart out.

Problem is I can’t sing. So everyone kind of tells me to stop.

Stop. Don’t cry. No ones helping them. Israel will win. Because Palestinians, they weren’t created for this world. They were created for Jannah. So don’t worry. Don’t look at the horrifying images. Allah has it all under control. They’ll get homes twice the size of the most glamorous palaces on this Earth. And land that is way more beautiful than anything on this planet. Their lives are in the hands of Allah and He will do them justice. As He is the most Just.

chaatmirchi:

zsrmx:

girls make such a big deal about we dont belong in the kitchen etc, bruh idc im ready to belong in the kitchen and make him food looking cute in bomb haram clothes

OMFG SAME HERE

Or to just like be in the kitchen and eat hella amounts of food.

(via faithandsabr)